illegal contact
As the NFL Draft approaches on April 26th, scouts may want to take a greater look in the DC Metro area. I happened to be taking the metro to work this week and found myself sitting on the outer seat in one of the older model cars. The woman in the single seat across from me moved her legs aside as did I in order to allow a woman into the inner seat. She then proceeded to bang me in the head with one of her two huge bags, talk loudly on the phone, and then spread her legs apart to max capacity to use them like a table as she placed her enormous bags on top of them.
As I continued to angle my body towards the aisle to create more space as I read the paper, she scraped up every inch I gave her. She must have thought this was a three legged race at a picnic. This ride to work should have been videotaped by Walsh and submitted to the commissioner. The illegal contact during the game was greater than the total number of fouls in the classic Bulls Knicks playoff series.
There were so many neutral zone infractions and encroachments that I had lost count before my ride was even half over. Her medium size umbrella attached in the pocket of the smaller bag occasionally jabbed her neighbor across from her as she moved. Finally as she stood up and left the car, I felt as if I was free and could breathe easier. I mentioned this to the woman in the single seat who essentially said that woman was awful and that she felt cramped and crowded too.
No sooner did we conclude that this woman could hold her position no matter the pressure another woman burst onto the scene first using a Reggie White move to cast aside a gentleman hanging around the door and then gave a nice elbow hook to an elderly man that hasn't been seen cleanly since Chris Webber at Michigan. She claimed her spot and held the line. I'm not sure if Mel Kiper has seen this piece of work in action, but I'm sure if he did that there'd be a green up arrow displaying her stock rising. She next demonstrated great combine skills as she touched her toes without bending at the knees. Unfortunately for yours truly, it was a full moon in the morning as I caught some not so sweet shoulder and chin music. When the single seat was vacated, she showed her determination and fended off two would be riders looking for a seat.
The Redskins may not have a lot of high picks in this year’s draft, but maybe they should consider scouting the metro lines. Opening things up like Disney and Dick Vermeil in Invincible couldn't be that bad could it? The grit, determination, tenacity and a motor that just won't quit are all attributes coveted by most teams. Sure the times in the 40 may not be want you'd want to see, but there's something to be said for getting results.
