As we rapidly approach the dying hours of the NBA labor negotiations, the outlook is grim my friends. The reality is that it appears almost certain that the NBA will not take place this season. No backdoor passes, no alley oops, no final two minutes that last 45, no surprising rookies, no buzzer beaters, no LeBron hating, no Kobe worship and no hope of the Wizards 'Finally turning this thing around.'
It will truly be the winter of my discontent, just cold weather, piles of brown snow and no hoops. To most of America, this isn't a problem. Most people gave up on the NBA a long time ago. We've all encountered said cynics, the older gents who can't fathom why these players are paid so much, the same guys who think the players show boat too much and the same guys who pine for the days of yore. I will agree, players being paid too much is kind of how we go to this point in the first place, but it's not always their fault. I mean they have agents and those agents have a job, to get them paid. If the owners paid too much, that's on them. I paid too much for my car four years ago and guess what? I still have to pay for it, I can't lock out. I just have to suck it up.
Regardless of whose side you choose in these ridiculous labor negotiations, let's remember one thing, the fans suffer. Now as I sit here thinking about my first fall and winter without pro hoops since 1998-1999, I have become utterly depressed. Here's what I'm going to miss the most:
Posterizing: Nothing makes me happier than the humiliating sight of one man putting his testicles on another man's head and emphatically dunking a ball through a hoop. It's the same reaction we all get when you see a big hit in football, you know the one where you jump up from the couch and say 'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, SH*T.'
To ease my pain I'm going to watch a clip of a young Shaq Diesel 'Posterizing' the legendary Bullets center Gheorghe Muresan, won't you join me.
Sorry Gheorghie boy, I'm a fan, but I just need something to take off the edge.
Surprise Teams: Marv Albert: 'Can you believe it, the Minnesota Timberwolves have defied the odds and erased an 11 game deficit to make the playoffs and are now on the verge of upsetting the Los Angeles Lakers."
Damn, I would pay to see that. Who can forget how the Grizzles captured our hearts last season or that time the Warriors upset the top seeded Mavs in the first round. Take a look at some of the teams that may have taken over the role of spoilers this season, but now are set back even further:
Minnesota: Great intangibles guy in Kevin Love, Crazy guy who could turn it around and be good in Michael Beasley, High draft pick with great talent and huge upside in Derrick Williams and total WILDCARD in point guard Ricky Rubio.
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